July 31, 2021

The ESFP male

ESFP males are usually fun, socially adept, affectionate and practical people. Unlike some ENFP men, ESFP males easily manage to be perceived as both warm and “manly” at the same time. This is probably because ESFPs tend to conform more to peer pressure than ENFPs and they tend to be more traditional than ENFPs, even though both types aren’t exactly the guardians of tradition. Nonetheless, ESFP males do conform more and for this reason they will allow themselves to be cold and selfish in certain situations much easier than ENFPs will. This may be a harsh judgement on ESFPs, but in my experience ENFPs tend to be more genuine and consistent in their empathy, but this is also why they get ostracized more often and are more prone to depression and bouts of loneliness.

ESFP males find it easy to make new friends and they usually know a lot of people, but only a few on a deeper level. An ESFP male is the kind of person that will be the first to notice if someone in the group feels down or not included, but depending on their own status in the group they may or may not help to include the person.

Unfaithful in relationships? Capable of commitment?

There is a stereotype about both ESFP men and women being unfaithful in relationships and while this may be true, I don’t really have any hard data to back it up. If there is a tendency towards this, it is certainly not the case with all or even most ESFPs.

This is what the MBTI manual says about ESFPs and relationships:

  • In national sample, second highest in satisfaction with “Marriage/intimate relationship”
  • In national sample “Organizational Values”, place high value on “Happy family” and low value on “Achievement within system”
  • In national sample, among top four types valuing “Home/family”

So the rumors about their unfaithfulness might just be limited to early relationships before marriage, or just outright fake. ESFP males seem to be perfectly capable of settling down and being family men.

Where to find ESFP men?

According to polls ESFP is the 7th most frequent MBTI personality type among men, making up 6.9% of the male population. They are not a rare occurrence, but not the most common type of person either. The most common type among men is ISTJ with 16.4% of the population.

guys at pub

ESFP men will probably find you first, since they are very social and have no problems approaching people. However, if you really need to know where ESFP men spend their time, it is probably engaged in some activity, at the local pub, at a sporting event or in bars at night. Chances are that they are the loudest person in any room.

In terms of occupation they gravitate towards: health care, teaching, coaching, childcare work and skilled trades. You won’t find many of them in management positions or running a business. Job-wise, they are usually not high achievers and compared to other types they usually have worse grades in school, although they do tend to be among the highest persisters in college for some reason.

Compatibility in love and friendship?

If we are going to believe the famous psychologist and typologist David Keirsey, personality types with a common N or S preference and the same judging functions (Fe, Ti, Fi, Te) should be the most compatible. This means ESFPs should be the most compatible with ISTJ, ISFP, ESTJ and other ESFP types (although the last one might be too intense). The commonality is Introverted Feeling (Fi) and Extroverted Thinking (Te). Since ESFPs like to be the center of attention, they would probably do good with ISxx types who don’t mind giving them the spotlight. I personally know two happy “ESFP male – ISTJ female” couples and they are 20 to 30 years into marriage, but this is anecdotal evidence on my part. Any two well developed types can enjoy a healthy relationship, but ESFPs would probably do better with other sensing types and worse with INxx types.

Bad sides?

Everybody has flaws, and so do ESFP men. One of their flaws is actually being very sensitive about their flaws. It takes a lot of growing up for ESFPs to be able to take criticism well.

ESFP males can sometimes be “too relaxed” which can make them appear coarse or vulgar to other people. They can also take a long time to learn about boundaries. Some ESFPs will stay curious about personal stuff and nosy even into old age, so you have to be careful what you share with them.

Differences with ESFP females

For some reason ESFP males are more creative than ESFP females on average, at least according to polls in the MBTI manual where it says “ESFP males among three highest on two out of three measures of creativity; females among three lowest on one out of two measures of creativity”.

Another interesting statistic is this one: ESFP males among three highest on “Efficacy”; females among three lowest on “Efficacy”. I have no idea why this difference exists but my guess is that they conform a lot and allow societal pressure and stereotypes to shape them.

Famous ESFP males

Ringo Starr
Eddie Murphy
Hugh Hefner
Adam Sandler
Biggie Smalls
Elvis Presley
Ray Charles
Dana White
Mike Tyson
Jimmy Fallon
Woody Harrelson
Steve Irwin